Our Advice Blog

21

Dealing with
loss.

#askvicki , #bereavement, #losingalovedone

Grief is a word used to describe how someone feels when a loved one passes away and it is a very natural emotion for someone to experience, even though it can sometimes be overwhelming, confusing and even painful.

The first time you come across grief may be when a much loved pet passes away and it can be frustrating when family and friends don’t understand how devastated you feel and comments such as ‘just get another one’ can seem insensitive and cruel. Try to take comfort in the fact that the time you shared with your pet was a happy one and that they had a good life. And if you have been told that your pet is unwell and may not be with you for much longer, take the time to make their last days happy and comfortable.

When someone we love dies, it’s called a bereavement and it can affect each of us differently. You may not understand everything that is going on around you when a family member or friend dies but it is important to understand that we all grieve in our own way and need to do so to be able to get back to some normality in life; even if this is now different to how things were before.

But, it can be a scary time, as you will most likely see, adults struggle to control their emotions and everyday life can suddenly change, making things at home feel a little strange.

Very often people do not know what to say or how to behave when someone dies but lots of people find talking about their feelings to someone helps and even sharing your happy memories can offer you comfort.

You may find planting a tree or flower in the garden will help you grieve and even though it may be painful, there is some truth in the saying that ‘time will heal your loss’. Remember too that the person who has passed away would not want you to be unhappy and would want to know you are moving on and making the most of your life.

If you have a friend who is dealing with the loss of a loved one, don’t avoid the conversation; acknowledge their loss letting them know how sorry you are and that you are there if they need to chat about anything. Understand that people react differently to death and your friend’s behaviour may be erratic for a while as they deal with this time in their life and be patient with them.

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Comments

Sad life

My Grandad died be for I was born .although I never got to see him i,i fell crap.This helped me understand that it it right to feel cranky when someone has died . I still feel depressed today though 😭😭😭

Lol

I lost my dog who was older than me in March. He was nearly 12 in May 20th

Elf

A boy in my year, one of my friends, died at the weekend. This has actually helped me understand how his best friends are feeling and how I can help them.

Ziggy stardust

I lost my mum quite recently so, when I read this, it did make me think about, even though I feel grief, she had a good life and that's the most important. She may be gone however, she's in our hearts.

Sparkle and shine

This helped me a lot because, a friend of mine has recently lost a loved one and now, I know how she feels.

Fox

MYDOGISMYBAE I know how you feel I sometimes imagine how sad I would be when my cats die. I've already lost 3 pets, gave two kittens away and all of my 13 fish passed away. None of my living human family has died whilst I was alive, and I'm really dreading it. I was listening to some sad music once and cried because I was thinking about my cats passing away. But then I remember that they would have had a happy life and that makes me feel better. 😓😢😊😘 RIP Charlie, Stripey and Pancake ❤

Tulula

My dad died almost a year ago and I still feel crap 💩 my life is on pause still ind I have to move house and I just want to cry

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