Our Advice Blog

20

Dealing with
loss.

#askvicki , #bereavement, #losingalovedone

Grief is a word used to describe how someone feels when a loved one passes away and it is a very natural emotion for someone to experience, even though it can sometimes be overwhelming, confusing and even painful.

The first time you come across grief may be when a much loved pet passes away and it can be frustrating when family and friends don’t understand how devastated you feel and comments such as ‘just get another one’ can seem insensitive and cruel. Try to take comfort in the fact that the time you shared with your pet was a happy one and that they had a good life. And if you have been told that your pet is unwell and may not be with you for much longer, take the time to make their last days happy and comfortable.

When someone we love dies, it’s called a bereavement and it can affect each of us differently. You may not understand everything that is going on around you when a family member or friend dies but it is important to understand that we all grieve in our own way and need to do so to be able to get back to some normality in life; even if this is now different to how things were before.

But, it can be a scary time, as you will most likely see, adults struggle to control their emotions and everyday life can suddenly change, making things at home feel a little strange.

Very often people do not know what to say or how to behave when someone dies but lots of people find talking about their feelings to someone helps and even sharing your happy memories can offer you comfort.

You may find planting a tree or flower in the garden will help you grieve and even though it may be painful, there is some truth in the saying that ‘time will heal your loss’. Remember too that the person who has passed away would not want you to be unhappy and would want to know you are moving on and making the most of your life.

If you have a friend who is dealing with the loss of a loved one, don’t avoid the conversation; acknowledge their loss letting them know how sorry you are and that you are there if they need to chat about anything. Understand that people react differently to death and your friend’s behaviour may be erratic for a while as they deal with this time in their life and be patient with them.

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Comments

Fox

MYDOGISMYBAE I know how you feel I sometimes imagine how sad I would be when my cats die. I've already lost 3 pets, gave two kittens away and all of my 13 fish passed away. None of my living human family has died whilst I was alive, and I'm really dreading it. I was listening to some sad music once and cried because I was thinking about my cats passing away. But then I remember that they would have had a happy life and that makes me feel better. 😓😢😊😘 RIP Charlie, Stripey and Pancake ❤

Tulula

My dad died almost a year ago and I still feel crap 💩 my life is on pause still ind I have to move house and I just want to cry

Bex

My grandad died, and one day before my great grandad's funeral! I was devastated and didn't know what to do when I found out. I just kept pacing around the room and kind of growling. It was only last week and his funeral's tomorrow, I hope I can keep it together...

Proud to be a teen

I lost my grandad a few years ago but I'm still struggling, for ages afterwards ii wouldn't talk to anybody and during lunch I just sat in the corner thinking about him. I still keep a photo of him under my pillow and kiss him goodnight every night. I still think of him loads but I'm not as sad though I insisted in keeping thge cheap little pink and red bumblebee teddy he got for me in Tesco for Valentines day when I was 7 the year that he died, actually cone toktok think of iut he died 3 weeks after that.

Leah xx

As someone who lost their grandpa, this really helped me. He died of cancer when I as very young at the age of 56. I wish I could of known home properly. It was very difficult for my family but we speak about him now and how much we love him. I love you Grandpa. To anyone else who is dealing with loss, as time goes by it will get easier although you will never forget about them you will have a deep love for them instead of being sad about the loss of their life.As Vicki says I found it easiest to make a memory box of old photos and things that remind me of my Grandpa. I'm also very sorry for people's losses and hope that I may of helped some of you with my experiences, it will get better. If a friend has lost somebody let them talk to you about it, they will feel better knowing that they can talk to you.

Boylover

My cat passed away and i got 2 new kittens but im still heartbroken 🐈😢

senny

helped me a lot xo.xo

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