Our Advice Blog

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How do I deal with these
feelings I have for someone?

#firstlove, #help, #puberty

Your head might be whirling with all these new feelings you have for someone. But what do you do!?

Here are some tips for getting to know someone better.

Don't look away! It may give him the wrong impression and he may think you're not interested. Boys are not mind readers, so when you see him in the corridor or classroom, smile and say “Hi”.

Ignore your friends if they don't think he's cute. It's good they don't like him too. But don't be put off. Good friends should support your choice no matter what.

Rather than asking someone on a date, why not invite a group of friends to go somewhere? This takes the pressure off it being a date and gives you a chance to get to know each other better while having a laugh with your friends too.

If you find they don’t feel the same way about you, don’t worry. Everyone is attracted to others for different reasons and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you're not suited.

One last thing, no boy is worth losing a friend over, so if you find yourself attracted to your friend’s boyfriend, step away. NOW.

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Comments

Andrew’s girl

I like this guy he sits next to me in class. Sometimes he makes it seem like he likes and sometimes he does not even care about my existence. I want to get over him but I just can’t. I cry myself to sleep because of him. I have grown so insecure about myself. I get up middle of the night and cry staring at the ceiling. I try to act fine every time I see him. He makes me sad as well as he makes me happy. He makes me feel like I want to dig a pit and sit in there. This love I have for him has made me hate myself. Please help me.❤️➖

Freckles

I hàve a crush on a boy on my street and he is in my class and sits beside me

scared

I have a crush on a boy who lives on my street and is in my class!!

ur.local.frying.pan

so I have a MAJOR crush on my best friend and idk if she feels the same and I’m scared that if I tell her that I like her that things will be awkward between us and I rlly don’t want her to leave me cuz we’ve been best friends for 8 years now 😕😭💗🏳️‍🌈

laly

i have a crush on david i have told him and he eh well he said "i love you and i have a bigggggggggg crush on YOU! ah happie days happie days oh one last thing i fainted when he said that❤❤❤❤😍😍😍

RE: Dolly. (Delilah).

Hi, I'm not sure when you posted that comment about crushes on teachers, but either way, I think it's important to remember that: A) Crushes on teachers often aren't the same as genuinely liking somebody, although it may feel that way. Generally, they are based on admiration and respect for their status and authority, investment in, and attention to, your wellbeing (almost all teachers want their students to succeed, both in their studies, and their transition into society), and the fact that maturity can seem very appealing, especially when accompanied by the amount of involvement they have in your life, I think it's important to keep in perspective that while all these factors may give the feeling of closeness to someone, liking a peer is generally different because you have an insight into their personality and life beyond that of the largely professional, mentor and scholar relationship you have with a teacher. If you think about it, how much do you really know about their personal life? This is why crushes on teachers are generally superficial; however, there are some VERY rare cases where it might be a real crush. This leads me to my next point: B) Whether or not you have a real crush on a teacher or falsely believe you do, you should recognise that no LEGAL student-teacher (if below university level) can occur, if one does occur, the teacher is generally exploiting their position of trust and authority to manipulate vulnerable, insecure or naive students. Of course, this is a really messed up power dynamic, and generally both immoral and illegal. If something like that were to happen, the teacher is entirely at fault for manipulating the student and abusing their power for their selfish desires, and they should be reported, while the victimised student should be supported. C) Finally, if you like a teacher, try to refrain from being to obvious about it. Crushes are natural, but it isn't fair to the person crushing to build up hopes about impossible situations, nor is it fair for the teacher to be made to feel uncomfortable and have to be on guard around such a student. Trust me on this one; half of the girls in my year level when I was 14-15 had a crush on an attractive teacher making him feel very awkward when they clung to him and tried to flirt with him. Anyway, I don't mean to sound preachy, but that's just my view on student's crushing on teachers. Generally, it just ends up being a messy situation where the one with the crush ends up hurt. While it's natural to get crushes on teachers, for these reasons, it's generally best to just observe from afar. I hope this helped! Delilah.

Dolly

How about a crush on a teacher?

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