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YTP017
9/19/2019 9:03:56 PM
I honestly feel like my presence isn't valued on this planet anymore and that it truly won't make any difference to the world wether I'm dead or not . I have had such terrible self esteem for about the last 2 and a half years and I've reached a point where I can't cope anymore . I feel like I'm never going to pursue the life I want -I want at some point in the future to be living in London with a successful , well paid self employed position . problem is that I've convinced myself that I'm a stupid m**** and that nothing I ever try and sell will be a success . I mean my qualifications aren't horrifically bad , I've got 7 gcse passes at a c or above , along with a couple of drama course qualifications but I feel like it doesn't matter what hobby i look at I'll never be good enough to make a career out of it . For example , I love drama but I personally honestly don't think I'm that good, although I've been told by people that I have skills in that area . I hate my appearance-i have a rather, in my opinion, unusual and unattractive figure, my friend is slim but she has boobs and a bum, I am bigger than her because I did go through a phase of eating too much but now I'm just sort of thick end of healthy, but even when I was a slim size 8/10 i can honestly never remember my stomach being flat , it was always slightly rounded. The thing is though, is that my bum is just sort of average , not flat but not large either and my boobs are just only very slightly average size/smaller than average -honestly , I don't want to be negative but sometimes I feel like my friend got all the beautiful , "cover girl" features whilst I got all the "that ugly fat friend that no one particularly wants to hang out with but is forced to anyway" i can just see from the way guys and boys look up and notice my friend as we walk by whereas I just get overlooked and no one does so much as raise an eyebrow . I know it's not intentional but I feel like it's really damaging to my self esteem because it makes me feel like no one's ever going to love me unless I have vogue model looks , and that's just not attainable for someone like me. To make matters worse my hair is extremely uncontrollable and wavy in texture so it always blows around in the wind , making it look like I haven't brushed or washed my hair when I have ? I also know that I need to get glasses but I've basically been putting it off for about 6 months un till my mum essentially forced me to have an appointment . The reason being is that my glasses will draw even more attention to my appearance, making me look even more of an awkward outcast than I already am. don't get me wrong , some people look really cute with glasses on but I just think that because of my awkward face shape and facial features they simply won't suit me. I truly feel like I'm just a burden on everyone around me and I feel like I'm never going to recover from my anxiety and that I'm still going to be taking anxiety medication when I'm 65 , I have thought about cutting myself repeatedly so that I bleed to death -plz help
Show Answer
Rather than focus on the things that you dislike about yourself, look for the things you love. Puberty can be such a difficult and demanding time for teens when due to all the physical and emotional changes that occur, low self-esteem and a poor self-image are common so try to take some comfort in the fact that you are not alone in feeling this way. Talking through your feelings with your family and friends will help you to feel better and being active by dancing, doing a sport or yoga will help you physically and mentally.
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