Our Advice Blog

26

Dealing with
loss.

#askvicki , #bereavement, #losingalovedone

Grief is a word used to describe how someone feels when a loved one passes away and it is a very natural emotion for someone to experience, even though it can sometimes be overwhelming, confusing and even painful.

The first time you come across grief may be when a much loved pet passes away and it can be frustrating when family and friends don’t understand how devastated you feel and comments such as ‘just get another one’ can seem insensitive and cruel. Try to take comfort in the fact that the time you shared with your pet was a happy one and that they had a good life. And if you have been told that your pet is unwell and may not be with you for much longer, take the time to make their last days happy and comfortable.

When someone we love dies, it’s called a bereavement and it can affect each of us differently. You may not understand everything that is going on around you when a family member or friend dies but it is important to understand that we all grieve in our own way and need to do so to be able to get back to some normality in life; even if this is now different to how things were before.

But, it can be a scary time, as you will most likely see, adults struggle to control their emotions and everyday life can suddenly change, making things at home feel a little strange.

Very often people do not know what to say or how to behave when someone dies but lots of people find talking about their feelings to someone helps and even sharing your happy memories can offer you comfort.

You may find planting a tree or flower in the garden will help you grieve and even though it may be painful, there is some truth in the saying that ‘time will heal your loss’. Remember too that the person who has passed away would not want you to be unhappy and would want to know you are moving on and making the most of your life.

If you have a friend who is dealing with the loss of a loved one, don’t avoid the conversation; acknowledge their loss letting them know how sorry you are and that you are there if they need to chat about anything. Understand that people react differently to death and your friend’s behaviour may be erratic for a while as they deal with this time in their life and be patient with them.

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Comments

To (strawberry3)

I lost my hamster too :(( her name was Honey and she was the sweetest little hammy. :(

Strawberry 3

I'm so, so sorry to anyone who has lost a loved one. Please be brave and remember that you can get through this. It's natural to feel angry, confused or scared or even like you don't want to go on, but talking helps, you can move on with life, and still remember them. Rest in Peace Trifle ( he was my hamster) and remember that you can talk on here or Ask Vicki if you need any help x

Sad times

I lost my grandad to cancer 10 years ago, a few days after my first birthday. I still like to look at pictures of him and try remember him, I feel really sad that my two younger sisters never got to meet him 😢😔

Saddness :(

I know it's not a person but my rabbit died and it makes me so sad :(

Hey Pandas (you are mazing)

I am so sorry for every one who lost people. (Loved ones). I lost a grand-grand-father, and also, my friend has lost her dad and my other friend has lost his grandad. I feel so sorry for then. I just wish I could hexpect then. If your reading this and you have lost someone, note I support you and think you have right to be sad. I would if I lost say my mother or father. But, like Luna Lovegood, we all have to understand death and see it on the face, it's sad, but it's part of life. :) bye!

Person

My grandma died and I am really distressed and have now got anxiety problems 😢 My ex is not helping ether.

Rose

My grandad died the day before Easter this year and nobody understands how hard it is for me I've not told many people at school

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