Our Advice Blog

36

It’s a love thing!

#boys

Even though we’re the same age they act so childish!

Whilst most girls have entered puberty by the age of 10, boys are often a couple of years behind. So if he wants to play football while you want to spend time cuddling on the sofa, don’t be too hard on him.

Why do they act differently when they are with their friends?

To a degree we all do. If your date is sweet and considerate when you are alone, but then starts being distant when their friends show up, don’t take it personally, it says more about them than you. Often people feel it’s necessary to be ‘cool’ around their mates, not letting on that they really like someone or that this person’s opinion means a lot to them. So give them space, if they need to bond with friends from time to time as they continue to become young adults…take the time to spend time with your friends too. If, however they ae becoming selfish or disrespectful towards you when in company, let them know that you understand they wants to look ‘cool’ in front of his mates, but being rude is actually doing the opposite.

Everyone has feelings!

How you speak to someone can have a huge impact on their confidence. You may think you are saying one thing but they may hear something completely different. For example, you say “aren’t you ready yet?” They hears, “you must be so stupid if you’re still getting dressed.” It would be far better to use a positive approach and say “how’s it going?”. It’s not what you say…it’s how you say it!

Why do they only want to date the pretty people?

Actually studies show that 80% of people like to get to know someone before dating and if they are interested in them initially for their looks this will quickly subside if their personality does not match their appearance.

They’re not all the same!

You may have dated someone in the past who was always paying you attention, giving you compliments, wanting to be with you as much as possible. If your new crush is a little more reserved, don’t take this as a sign that they don't like, love or care for you as much as others before…they simply have a different way of showing it.

And don’t be tempted to compare one relationship with another, constantly telling someone how a previous girlfriend/boyfriend treated you differently, this is one sure way to knock their confidence and send them running in the opposite direction.

Why do they take ages to text me back, they must be going off me?

They may be busy, they may have nothing to say; boys rarely do idle chat and like to have a subject or question to answer and girls often have that many people they chat to they can often forget to respond. If you’ve been dating for a while, then it’s only natural that there will be a decrease in messages going back and forth now you see each other on a regular basis.

Why can’t they see they've upset me!

Don’t expect someone to just guess what they've done to upset you, let them know and then give them time to take in your comments. We all process emotions a little differently and may not have a response for you immediately so give them a day or so to think over what you have said.

Why do they always bring the subject round to sexual things?

Boys are going to be curious about sexual matters, for that matter so are girls. But don’t think this is true of everyone you meet. In fact, studies carried out in the past have shown that 60% of people really do want to love someone and for that person to show them love back.  

SHARE

Add your Comment

YOUR NICKNAME:

YOUR COMMENT:

CHOOSE YOUR AVATAR:

ARE YOU HUMAN:

   

Comments

shark lover

i am a leisbein and i am glad i will never have 2 deal with a boyfriend.

sharklover44 r

i like this websight but there is allmost nothing about being a lesbean!!!!!! i think its inportant and juging by the comments a lot of other people think that as well. i am gay and proud of it

<3

my crush treats me like a fragile butterfly 😭😭😭 like when he shouted at someone to move when he was behind me he turned to me and said "not you *my name*" really kindly. he treats me wayyy different than my friends, but its probably because i'm the shyest and (probably) nicest

Bobeth to DAT lgbtq+ kid

As a demigirl and lesbian I think this should contain more representation for those of us who aren't straight and don't meet the "gender norms".

Bree@love

Thanks for the amazing information I needed it a lot in my love life at school

DAT LGBTQ+ KID reply to bobeth

Totally agreed

Bobeth reply to dat lgbtq+ kid

Agreed.

ASK VICKI

If you have a question about periods, changes to your body or how you're feeling and can’t find the answer on here, ask Vicki for some advice. Just type in your question and press submit.

SUBMIT QUESTION
 

If Vicki can help you, she'll post an answer in the ‘Your questions answered’ page, so don't forget to keep checking it
(and the best thing is nobody will ever know it was you that asked!)