Our Advice Blog

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Sexual Attraction

#feelings

During puberty, it’s very normal to start developing feelings that you haven’t experienced before, such as feeling really attracted to someone else. This is what is commonly known as ‘sexual attraction’!

Here are some of the signs you may be going through this:

  • You’ve been friends with them for a very long time but all of a sudden you see them in a completely different light.
  • You can’t stop thinking about them.
  • You get a funny feeling in your stomach when they’re with you.
  • You lose your self-confidence in their company.
  • You start blushing in front of them.
  • You don’t know what to say!
  • You want to talk about them to anyone who'll listen.
45

Why do I fancy different people to my friends?

#crush , #feelings

No one knows why some people feel an attraction to another person and why others don’t!

Initially it can be linked to looks and what we believe to be attractive and this may differ from your friends, so don’t be put off if they don’t get why you like this person so much.

Here are some interesting views on attraction.

  • It’s not just how someone looks that gets our hearts racing, experts believe how they smell can contribute to this too! How can this be? The body releases little chemicals called pheromones, designed to attract a mate. You may not be able to detect this odour, but your brain will.
  • Some people seem to be attracted to someone who looks a little like them, or even like their parents. Now don’t freak out…this is because we are often comfortable with familiar things and recognise features in others we see every day at home.
  • Playing hard to get, can be deeply attractive for some people, is it the idea of having to fight to win someone’s attention…who knows!
  • You are far more likely to be attracted to someone who gives you compliments than someone who looks for your faults or uses cheesy chat up lines.
  • Finally, research would show that alcohol can change how we view the world and can make us feel an attraction to strangers, something many people regret when they are sober.
254

Totally normal

#crush , #feelings

These feelings can sometimes be for someone of the same sex as you and again this is all very natural and your body’s natural curiosity towards others.

 

For some people these feelings stop and they go on to have relationships with the opposite sex as they get older. For others, these strong urges never go away. But as with any new feelings, they should be allowed to develop and not rushed.

   

It's also totally normal to have crushes on people who are older than you like teachers, sports coaches and even film, TV and pop stars. Having a crush is perfectly normal and as you get older these feelings may subside.

 
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Having
sexual feelings

#firstlove, #puberty

You might also notice that when you view images or read text of a romantic or sexual nature you feel a little excited. This is very normal and starts to happen as you get older It’s called Sexual Arousal. It doesn't mean you should act on these feelings. It’s important to know that, any kind of sexual relationship with a boy or girl under the age of 16 is illegal.

You might also feel curious about your own body, how it works and makes you feel when touched. This can often result in people masturbating; when they touch their genitalia (your ‘down there bits’) and may make you feel tingly inside. It is both a natural and instinctive activity and some people are frightened by the way this makes them feel and think masturbation is wrong or can be harmful. This is not true and masturbation is perfectly normal and it’s really up to you if you choose to do it or not!

HAVING A CRUSH

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Comments

brooklyn ;)

I have a HUGE crush on this boy, I swear he is the hottest!! AHHHH MY HEART. Blonde hair, blue eyes, he muh mannnnnn

Reply to Layla :)

Hi Layla, I am also 13 and I am bisexual. Don’t worry about labels, you are who you are and will figure yourself out as time goes on, for example things may change and you may realise you aren’t bisexual and are something else. My advice is to explore different sexualities such as pansexual and see what fits you best. As for your crush, if your bff is attracted to girls, maybe tell her how you feel, if you don’t know, perhaps drop subtle hints or ask her to help you with your sexuality and she could open up to you. If things don’t work out don’t worry, everything will work out in the end. Hope this helped, Lottie :)

UNKNOWN

I have a crush on someone for more then2years. I mean, I am starting to think "is that JUST a crush?" Cause it seems to be more. I just look at him every time he's around I just.. panick. I can talk to him and oncertainly he was soo close to mee It was awkard I was sat on a wall and a fence on my back he literaly went in front of me so if he tried to do something I had no escape if I told him I liked him I had no escape either. And then I wished I did tell him. Lol. 😂 I think he likes me too and he knows I like him cause I was weird around him I started standing and sitting back again around him and once I was sat down in my class and he came in and I stood up 😂😂😂😂 then he looked at me and I went blushing and asked to go to the loo but they did't allow and he passed in front of me facing me.. 😂😂😂😂

JELLOMEMELLOW

honestly, I've never told my parents I've had a crush on anyone, I've never felt the need to. I like to keep that kinds of things private cuz I might stop liking him and then I'd also have to tell my parents I don't like them anymore... but i'll obviously tell them when I get a boyfriend.

reply to confused lgbtq+

Hi! I am also asexual, but I am panromantic, have the same feelings of wanting to hug and kiss the person but I dont feel excited at the thought of sex. Im not sure if this counts as sexual attraction but I feel more attracted to girls than boys but am still attracted to boys, and I get a tingly feeling. I hope that helps I don't know if that counts. ^^ :)

reply to CONFUSED LGBTQ+

hi i dont know if you will see this (im not sure when it was posted) but im asexual so i thought i would help, butterflies is just anxiety around a person you like. and i personaly have had them before. the biggest indicator to me that i was asexual is just that i felt pretty meh about sex and that nude bodys didnt make me feal anything. you can still be asexual but have a romantic relationship i hope that helps x from rose

votvot

I feel all of the signs ubove of having a sexual attraction to 2 different boys! Is it normal to have a crush on 2 people at the same time? or am i just a weirdo? See, i dont know which one of them i like more, but one of them has a boyfriend and one dosent soo...

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