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LSJ010
12/9/2024 1:48:14 AM
I dont ever want a relationship for personal reasons so I have no issue with not being with my best friend or anyone and we love each other as friends anyway- I made it clear to him I never want a relationship ever so he knows its never to be. Me and my best friend (male) became close friends. I was there for him when he was going through divorce and he said for a long time he wasnt looking for a relationship. He would give me a big hug goodbye. One time he gave me a long hug, peck kiss my cheek and pecked my neck in just an affectionate way (not lustful he said). He said recently hes going to stop giving me a kiss on the cheek and saying I love you - any lovey stuff cause even though its purely from affection and he loves me as a friend, hes now thinking it can complicate the relationship with whoever he gets with in future. I warned him about the at before but he said its okay Ill tell her - now when hes still completely single and not looking just yet, hes changed his mind which is totally okay were happy to hug now. 1) I dont think he was using me as an emotional rebound, was he??? Im thinking I was used emotionally because he loves me as a best friend, and we both made that clear. When he changed I said he mightve been more lovey cause he misses that relationship aspect but I didnt mind at the time. He sent heart emojis in playful and affectionate way but stopped as hes changed as I explain further. He just changed his mind and said he matured to know it could make his future apart we uncomfortable, I said Id stop the I love you kiss in cheek etc. anyway if he dated again - We said from affection and I love you and kiss on cheek and stuff we said in friendship way (he would look at me in loving way but could just be from affection cause we care for each other). Im really happy now were just hugging as thatll be best for when he eventually finds someone but my other question was 2) he was single so we did nothing morally wrong, but I was wondering if its morally wrong for him to not tell his future partner that despite us still going to be friends, for him to not tell her we did that before? Would that be morally okay if he didnt say? Otherwise Ill have to tell him he needs to tell his future partner. Cause I said what if shes uncomfortable and we stop being friends were risking our friendship? He replied at the time that hell sort it with her - now hed probably be uncomfortable telling her (future her) us saying and doing those things, even though all of that was in a friendship way,!should I encourage him to tell her when he gets with her in the future whoever her is? Should he tell her to leave it if we stopped long before we met her? Is it ok he doesnt tell her or should I. Tell him to tell his future partner- what if he says no? Thank you so nuchh
Show Answer
I think when someone is with someone new the past is just that, the past and does not need to be discussed by anyone if they choose not to. If you and this man are now friends and have sorted your boundaries, then I see no reason to relieve the past in the future.
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