Our Advice Blog

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KEEPING AND MAKING FRIENDS

#askvicki , #newfriends

This week Ask Vicki talks about the ups and downs of friendship.

Friendship isn't easy and during puberty the relationship you have enjoyed for many years with close friends can change.

You may be noticing a change to the way you and your friends look and act, they may be dressing differently or developing earlier than you. You may even notice that some of your friends have started to talk about dating when this is something you are not ready for. You could even feel a little jealous or left out if they do start dating or making new friends with other people.

Although many friendships remain strong and continue into adulthood it is important to understand that some will start to fade and this is perfectly normal. So try not to worry if you seem to spend less time with a friend, it may be that they have recently found people they have more in common with and it doesn’t have to mean the end of your friendship, you can still keep in contact with a weekly update on the phone or by dropping them an e-mail.

Rollercoaster Up’s and Down’s

If you’ve got a friend who seems to be happy one minute and then moody the next, don’t give up on them, let them know that you understand this is all because of puberty and hormones and that together you will find ways to manage the way they are feeling, I am sure they will be glad of your support.

Secondary School

Starting a new school can sometimes mean that you and your friends will be split up, they may go to a different school or you may find that they are put in a different form to you.

If this happens to you, try to make new friends in class and never get involved in saying unkind things about old friends behind their backs and avoid being with people that do.

Remember that friendships should be natural and never change the way you look or act to fit in with a new group, true friends will love you for who you are.

Finally, don’t get too hung upon on having just one ‘special’ friend, it is far healthier to have a wide group of friends to spend time with and to rely on when you need support.

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Comments

To Rabbit lover

If you do have a phone, then get each others numbers and follow each other on social media. Arrange to meet up, say once a month. Don't be unrealistic, both them and you will be wanting to make new friends and will be busy at your new school, but try to face time every now and then and check up on each other. Don't be upset if you do grow apart, instead, spend your last days together positively, take some photos and make some happy memories to look back on. X

Rabbit lover

Hi, it should say friend not drink. Xx

Rabbit lover

Hi, I have a best drink that I was friends with since I was 6 weeks old! She’s going to a normal secondary school and I’m going to an all girls private school (because I got a scholarship 😊). Is there any tips of how I can keep in touch with her when we start secondary? Xx

To ??

I was in the exact same boat as you. I suggest that text regularly, but don't be disappointed if they don't reply straight away, they will be making new friends too. Me and my friends also arranged to face time once every month to check up on each other. Don't be too sad if you loose contact. Think back positively on your friendship and take some photos together for lasting memories. Xx

heartbreaker

I had a really good friend since I was like 4, she is three years older than me but it wasn't much of a difference then. We have so many great memories together. we were solid friends for 8 years. But not I'm 14 and she is 17. We have drifted apart and she isn't doing well I've heard. If you ever read this, I do hope that you are okay. xx

JKB

RE: RANDOM GIRL I personally think you should hang out with your cousins because... they're your cousins. This will create a deeper bond between you and once they get to know you even better, they will know who to introduce you to.

Rose??

I started secondary in february this year so its almost been a whole year. Here is some things to keep note about: 1. Don't listen to those weird stories big girls say about secondary being terrifying. It kinda is but its not thaat bad. 2. There is a lot of homework..unfortunately. In secondary you have to actually have a proper routine so you can get everything done as there is a lot of stuff. 3. If someone teases you, just reply as if they said a joke. If its really frustrating consuly an adult. 4. There will be a lot of girlfriend and boyfriend talk going around. 5. Don't panickk, something I did and it just made it worse. Thats all, and i hope you found this useful in some way. Bye. Rose xoxo

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