Our Advice Blog


Peer pressure

#askvicki , #Peerpressure

Peer Pressure

Having likeminded friends is great, but what do you do if they are asking you to do things against your will or better judgement.

What is a ‘peer’?

Peer is the name given to friends or people you know similar in age to yourself and with whom you share the same likes and dislikes. They can be friendship groups in school or in local clubs, even cousins who are around your age can be classed as your peers.

And it’s great having friends who share your interests and you can chat to and it’s only natural that you will listen to their advice and learn from it. But what about when that friendship starts to change into something less fun and you feel pressured to act, think or look a different way. This is then called Peer Pressure.

Say No

As friends you most likely make lots of decisions every day together and as a group; where to meet, what you want to eat and how you feel about a band or TV show. But if you are being asked to like or do something that you feel is not right for you, you have the right to say NO. ‘No’ can be a hard word to say, but if done in a positive manner it will feel good. So stick to what you believe to be right without disregarding your friend’s views and you may find others start to respect your honesty and feel less pressured too.

They say:
“Anyone who doesn’t like One Direction can’t be in our group.”

You say:
“It’s great you like this band but for me I think The Vamps are better, I guess we are all different and that’s what makes our group so great”

Be creative

Be the person in the group that suggests new activities for you all to do, be open to the fact that some may not go along with this idea or that you may have to amend your plans a little to keep everyone happy.

Be Individual

Ok…you and your friends like the same things, but that does not mean you have to dress the same or buy expensive items simply because others in the group have. And don’t let anyone tell you that you have to spend a lot of money to look good or to be part of the group. Most top models and celebrities are huge fans of High Street stores and Charity shops. So be confident, wear what you like, what suits you and what makes you feel good.

Serious Requests

Asking you to smoke, drink alcohol or take part in sexual activity is the sort of peer pressure you have to stand up to. They may do it in a lighthearted way, saying “don’t be a baby everyone does it”. The general rule is that if your first reaction is to back away and say no, it is the correct route to follow. You can easily defend your decision to decline their offer by letting them know that smoking, drinking alcohol or having sex, does not make you cool and can in most instances make someone look and act very silly.

Even if others in your group have decided to join in, don’t feel this means you should, simply because everyone else is doing something, doesn’t make it right!

If you still want to hang out with this group of friends find a get out clause that will mean you can still be with them without taking part in anything that makes you uncomfortable. Rehearse some good excuses.

  • If you’re sporty let them know you are training and alcohol or smoking would affect your performance.
  • If you are at a party and feel under pressure, call home and fain illness and ask your parents to come and collect you.
  • Or quite simply let them know that if your parents, older or younger siblings found out you would be in some serious trouble and that you don’t need that kind of hassle at home.
  • Give them examples of people who have regretted doing these things and as such you are way too smart to make the same mistakes.

Like minded Friendships

If being in your current friendship group is becoming too pressured for you, consider finding a group of friends with whom you share the same interests. Hanging out with the cool kids just to fit in is not always as much fun as it looks. ~Be with people who feel the same way you do and find friends who will speak up and support you and who like you for who you are without trying to change you. Remember too if you see someone being pressured, step in and speak up for them.


Add your Comment







Darkness to JKB

I agree, I Would feel really uncomfortable wearing what 'normal people' wear


So true my friend pressures me to tell my crush how I feel for him

To girl life

Omg I’m 11! And have found a crush who likes me kind of does and I like her but for now we’re friends cause it’s a bit young to date! Xoxo Cherrycream17

Girl life

Same with me. I have this really close friend and I told her I had a crush on my best best BEST friend and she said, I quote. "Yeah, you guys make such a good couple. Do you want to ask her out. It is fine if you don't though. Just asking." This is what friends are for and so don't be scared to tell them because I swear they will understand. If not it is either because they are a fake friend or they have a crush on the same person. Do what YOU want to do and don't listen to other people if they are pressuring you to do something. Don't let them pressure you into having sex/underage sex or kissing or anything. Me and my girlfriend agreed that we are gonna kiss when we are older because right now we are only 10. Also if any one is single out there, don't let people pressure you into asking someone out. If you think it is too early for stuff like that then do what you want to do. It is your body and no one tell you what to do with it. No sexual stuff under 16 by the way. You could kiss but no sex. Bye. I hope this helped. Girl life. xoxo


RE: HAPPI Don't be afraid to wear what you want to, this may even become a trend! Wearing your own choice of clothes also shows you aren't afraid to step away from the crowd, and if anyone makes fun of you, just say : "I'm wearing what makes me feel comfortable, so why don't you try it out yourself?"


If you feel pressured then it is probably peer pressure. I feel the same at my school and I worry what others think of me. Be strong as if you like it then it doesn't matter what others think and if they are your friends who you worry about judging you then they won't judge you but if they do they probably aren't great friends anyway xx

Not confident

At school and stuff I always feel like I have to like what everyone else likes because otherwise I think they'll think I'm weird. does this happen to other people? Is this peer pressure?


If you have a question about periods, changes to your body or how you're feeling and can’t find the answer on here, ask Vicki for some advice. Just type in your question and press submit.


If Vicki can help you, she'll post an answer in the ‘Your questions answered’ page, so don't forget to keep checking it
(and the best thing is nobody will ever know it was you that asked!)